Entertainment as a whole has always been responsible for some of the happiest moments of my life and, in many ways, is the reason I still believe in a number of dreams and in my ability to achieve them over time. It is not just the stories that reflect my personal journey or circumstances or even those remotely close to my life that have this ability, it is simply just the act of experiencing something great.

There is the old adage that the older you get, the more conservative or right-leaning you become. In my 30th year, I can tell you that there is absolutely 0 truth in it for me, personally. Quite the opposite in fact. The older I get, the more angry I am.

I've said it a million times before but I've had an odd little life, not without it's mistakes and pains. As such, it is often hard not to use my past as a reason to feel sorry for myself or to begin to use it to create a doomed future for myself. In fact, once you begin to look back in a negative manner, you find little extra pieces to hurt yourself with. Every little memory from the harshest hurt to the smallest inconvenience becomes something to paint a bleaker future with.

As a creative, it was a slowly boiling cauldron of contradictions. I desperately wanted to be a writer/producer - perhaps even a director - and I also wanted a relatively quiet life with the possibility of a family. The partner has always been more important than children but my opinion on having kids changes with the state of the world on a daily basis. Success under these conditions was hard to envision because I had a societal view over all of it:

If there’s one thing you notice above all else in the journey between 20 and 30, it’s the declining levels of energy. I know it’s not just me either, it’s a universal battle. At some point, it becomes harder to find the motivation, to wake up refreshed and to be as intentional about chasing good health as you were in your early 20s. There, annoyingly, is the cyclical conflict. Low energy creates low motivation to be healthy and to improve our lives and low motivation and life satisfaction creates more low energy.

As much as I understand the human nature of all celebrities, I am one to be slightly taken by parasocial relationships with them. I have actors I would love to work with and obsessively follow their careers. I have musicians whose songs have soundtracked recoveries from depression and that fuel my good days. I have TV showrunners who I idolise and aspire to be. But it's a strange relationship, isn't it? I've often had this conversation with one of my best friend's - who is also similarly, sometimes more-so - enraptured by the same parasocial relationships.

To know me is to know my obsession with love. Few things in my 30 years have occupied my brain more than the concept, impact and pursuit of love. Whether watching When Harry Met Sally, crying at the ending to Normal People, floatily listening to a self-curated loveydovey Spotify mix or through experiencing life through every interpersonal connection I have, love sustains me.