If anything unites us in our current world of democratically fragile, emotionally saturated, geopolitical intensity, it is, perhaps, our collective exhaustion. Some of us still live lives of relative privilege, some are facing the consequences of someone else's conflict, and just about everyone is driven by some sort of fear or, in what seems a concerningly growing trend, apathy. In the face of this, when a news bulletin that would previously have pierced the soul of a nation or caused permanent alarm becomes just another fact of life, how can we possibly recover?

Entertainment as a whole has always been responsible for some of the happiest moments of my life and, in many ways, is the reason I still believe in a number of dreams and in my ability to achieve them over time. It is not just the stories that reflect my personal journey or circumstances or even those remotely close to my life that have this ability, it is simply just the act of experiencing something great.

There is the old adage that the older you get, the more conservative or right-leaning you become. In my 30th year, I can tell you that there is absolutely 0 truth in it for me, personally. Quite the opposite in fact. The older I get, the more angry I am.

I've said it a million times before but I've had an odd little life, not without it's mistakes and pains. As such, it is often hard not to use my past as a reason to feel sorry for myself or to begin to use it to create a doomed future for myself. In fact, once you begin to look back in a negative manner, you find little extra pieces to hurt yourself with. Every little memory from the harshest hurt to the smallest inconvenience becomes something to paint a bleaker future with.

As a creative, it was a slowly boiling cauldron of contradictions. I desperately wanted to be a writer/producer - perhaps even a director - and I also wanted a relatively quiet life with the possibility of a family. The partner has always been more important than children but my opinion on having kids changes with the state of the world on a daily basis. Success under these conditions was hard to envision because I had a societal view over all of it:

If there’s one thing you notice above all else in the journey between 20 and 30, it’s the declining levels of energy. I know it’s not just me either, it’s a universal battle. At some point, it becomes harder to find the motivation, to wake up refreshed and to be as intentional about chasing good health as you were in your early 20s. There, annoyingly, is the cyclical conflict. Low energy creates low motivation to be healthy and to improve our lives and low motivation and life satisfaction creates more low energy.

As much as I understand the human nature of all celebrities, I am one to be slightly taken by parasocial relationships with them. I have actors I would love to work with and obsessively follow their careers. I have musicians whose songs have soundtracked recoveries from depression and that fuel my good days. I have TV showrunners who I idolise and aspire to be. But it's a strange relationship, isn't it? I've often had this conversation with one of my best friend's - who is also similarly, sometimes more-so - enraptured by the same parasocial relationships.

To know me is to know my obsession with love. Few things in my 30 years have occupied my brain more than the concept, impact and pursuit of love. Whether watching When Harry Met Sally, crying at the ending to Normal People, floatily listening to a self-curated loveydovey Spotify mix or through experiencing life through every interpersonal connection I have, love sustains me.

The first time I ever properly moved - forgetting the moves I made as a kid which I had 0 influence on - was for University. To be honest, across these 30 blogs, you'll find that a lot of things start with University. I cant even remember if it's an actual stipulation in off-campus house contracts or some unspoken fact but you will move every year.

Perhaps one downside to that consideration as you get older is that monetary value also gets thrown into the mix. Sure, blogs offer monetisation opportunities but on the whole having an article commissioned for a paper or journal brings more guaranteed money. At which point, you’re then left with 3 main thoughts:

• Who is this for and who does it provide the most value to?

• Do I care about financial gain from this or not?

• Do I want maximum exposure from this (depending on blog readership; blogs can be personal projects and publications can provide a larger audience to discuss deeper topics).

It’s my most authentic way of writing. I went into this very nervous, very anxious, honestly, about what people would think. Even though the poetry community, my friends, my partner, and my family, have done nothing but support me, there is still that anxiety of “I’m sharing such a vulnerable and insane moment in my writing journey” and I just thought there’s no point pretending to be someone I’m not, there's no point diluting my voice as a writer or oversimplifying anything, I love to go crazy with imagery, with metaphors, with little easter eggs I’ve trickled throughout the series and that’s not something I was ever willing to leave behind.

It's 22:42 and like the late-night writers we are, sleep is an allergy and so we've just spoken about my initial thoughts, about an obsession with using the word 'incendiary' in the one poem I got to help out with pre-publication and that one of my favourites from the book 'took forever to edit FYI jesus christ'. Having gotten over this initial post-read excitement, we dive into the conversation as I ask her to voice note her thoughts:

One thing I was always taught, whether it was by family members or university professors, was that to fulfil my dreams, I had to make sacrifices. This remains true. What I didn't quite realise is just how frequently the particular sacrifices I would give as an offering to the creative gods would change. The truth of the matter is simple: life changes. As life changes, what you're happy and able to sacrifice cannot remain the same. Whether it's as small as sacrificing an hour in the evening or as large as reducing the amount of social events, it's a choice that has to be made in line with the circumstances of your life.

Creativity has entered a new era. Most of us, intentionally or otherwise, are forgetting how to create authentically for ourselves. That's certainly the case in my circle where we all seem to be suffering from the same level of what I'd call 'an infection of social platforming'.

Read any review and rarely does anyone disagree that it is an excellent revival but it is in it's modern application of relevance that we find the most interesting conversation starter.